Today is my birthday. I turn 30. In the spirit of living a third of my life, give or take a decade, I want to share, in lovely listicle style, 30 things that I have learned thus far about myself and my life. I am sure this list will change and grow over the next decade, but nonetheless, may you find something in my understanding of myself that can also serve you on the journey of understanding yourself.
30 Life Lessons from 30 Years around the Sun
- When you want to get clear on something, stop avoiding yourself.
- A daily practice of meditation can change your life.
- Feelings are made of water. You can’t hold on to them. They are always changing. They must move, let them.
- Therapy is a useful tool, but so is poetry. They are both needed.
- Compassion is a soft but fierce mother.
- You are and were never broken. Even if your past left a scar, even if your nervous system remembers, even if sometimes things are too loud, too scary, too much and your actions are more then than now and you might cope with the world in ways that you’d rather not, you are not broken. Trauma of whatever scale doesn’t make you broken. To quote bell hooks, “Love is as love does.” because…
- Love is a verb. An active and ongoing practice.
- Sometimes loving someone else and wanting that relationship to succeed is the best motivator for learning how to love yourself.
- Let yourself be supported. You don’t have to be strong all the time.
- Conflict doesn’t have to be a battle. Conflict can be an opportunity for connection.
- Be honest with yourself. Be honest with others. It’s the kindest and most respectful course of action, but not always the easiest.
- Laughter & hugs are good measures of success.
- You can outgrow a relationship (platonic, romantic, ect) but that doesn’t mean you stop caring about that person. You can still wish them well & mourn the loss of something meaningful to you.
- It takes two people to make a relationship of any kind work. To that you aren’t always at fault for it not working out.