Stop Trying to be a “Better” Version of Yourself

Kim Buchwald
4 min readJul 13, 2022
Photo by Bruna Vidal:

If you are here reading what I am writing then I am going to assume you are not a stranger to the wellness space. You’ve probably felt the urge to “work” on yourself to be that “better” version of yourself, “healthier”, more “sustainable”, more “spiritual”, more “self aware” ect.

If this version of wellness works for you, great keep doing it.

But if something feels off about the incessant need to “work” on yourself in order to live a life that feels alive and connected to you, then please keep reading.

I ask you this: Is the point of wellness to actually be a “better” version of yourself? When did wellBEing become a passion project with a deadline? What are we all doing here?

When you see someone taking a yoga class on social media, or hiking a mountain or lifting weights in the gym, what are you actually comparing yourself to? You are comparing yourself to that “better” version of you. The you that is supposedly a more calm and centered person, the you that is more outdoorsy and adventurous, or the you that has more mental fortitude and discipline.

In my experience, what I want out of these wellness practices, especially those I see others doing, is a feeling. I want to feel the way I perceive that practice of hiking or yoga or weight lifitng will make me feel. And in feeling calm or accomplished or disciplined, I will somehome be devoid of feeling the opposite: stressed or failing or unmotivated.

You can’t evade yourself. You bring your perspective and your past wherever you go. To that end, it’s not the “better” version of you that is ever capable of feeling better, it is the you that is right here now. And that you that is right here now, no matter how much yoga you do, or hikes you go on, or weights you lift, still is a messy and complex human with a story.

“Working” on yourself doesn’t mean you will end up as a version of you where things aren’t sometimes uncomfortable, or unhealthy, or unsustainable.

Kim Buchwald

Writing about the relationship we hold with ourselves. Founder of @theartofgoodenough a platform dedicated to wellness rooted in love and presence.